Things you should not do at 80 miles per hour

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Everyone loves a good laugh. As a cartoonist, it is part of the job description.

But there are times when you unequivocally do not want to laugh.

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For one, you should not laugh while driving at 80 miles per hour. If you do, you definitely don’t want to laugh so hard that your eyes fill up with tears, because then you cannot see and that is dangerous.

So it follows that, while going 80 mph down the interstate in Wyoming, you absolutely should not listen to your brother tell the story of the first time he got sent onto the field at a junior high school football game. Because if you do, he will tell you how he sprinted out toward the huddle and almost immediately ran into the player he was replacing as they ran in opposite directions. He hit him so hard and unexpectedly that the other player did not get up and had to be dragged off the field by the coaching staff.

That story – and a good delivery – will get you laughing so hard that it is difficult to breathe, let alone drive a car. And that is bad.

And it figures that you should never, ever make matters even worse by following up with the recounting of the funniest blog article ever written. It was done in 2009 by Pearls Before Swine and Timmy Failure author/cartoonist Stephan Pastis, and it is titled, “It’s Dancing That I Fear.

Take if from me. Don’t click on that link.

Especially if you are driving.

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