To all the Information Technology people I have offended over the last thirty years, I apologize. I had no idea what you were going through.
Until now.
Up until this week, and especially while I was in the Navy, IT people were the ones I would call when my computer didn’t work. I did not always treat them with the respect they deserved.
If my email was messed up, I would call the IT guy.
If my browser didn’t work right, I would call the IT guy.
If I needed training, I would call the IT guy and let him/her do it instead.
Since I was inevitably stressed because something was not working right, they took the brunt of my frustration. By the time they were called, my fun meter was already tapped, and my interpersonal skills were not what they could have been. I treated them like Luke and his friends treated their droids, and for that I am sorry.
This week I got a new laptop. For the first time in my life, I did not wait until the previous version had already died, so I would be able to move all of my old files to the new computer while they were still available. Theoretically.
For the most part, I just wanted to move my emails and web browsing tools over, plus a few files. Add some security software and I would be good to go. In and out in a day.
That was a week ago.
My email software would not work. In the process of trying to fix that, I locked myself out of Outlook completely.
My cartoon editing software was out of date and would not work on the new machine, so I had to download a new version.
My printer software was out of date too. Another download.
The new laptop does not have a DVD player, so in order to install the security software I needed to buy an external DVD player. When I tried to run the disk, it would not play because it was too old. So I went online to download it. When I got there, I discovered that my subscription was used up and I had to buy more licenses.
I am a conspiracy theorist – at least when it comes to computers – and I think this all started with the Navy/Marine Corps Internet, lovingly known as NMCI. That was when, for the first time, we felt helpless in the face of the Borg.
Personal computers were supposed to replace legacy machines that were the byproduct of years of inefficiency and ineptitude within the defense acquisition system.

The joy of techs
Maybe. All I know is that I am typing at two different computers right now. One is getting ready to die, and one is about to be killed.
So, sorry IT fellas. I didn’t mean to spew when you were just trying to help. Sorry if I was abrupt, or didn’t understand the difficulty of your task. If I were a better man I would send each of you an individual apology in an email.
Except I’m not so sure you would get it.