My quest to be a codger


Look up codger in the dictionary, and you’ll see that it is an eccentric old man, often a curmudgeonly old man. I want to be that guy.

I’m not too old…I’m in my “new thirties.” But if I’m ever going to get to the curmudgeonly old man status, I’m going to have to change. So I have been watching some of the older veterans I know and have found some common traits. If I follow them, maybe I’ll make it by the time I’m in my “new fifties.”

They have instant recall of all of their military experiences. I can barely remember that I was in the Navy, let alone what I did while I was there. I’ll have to work on that.

They can’t figure out their “smart phones.” Check.

They all mow their own lawns, even in their golden years. Check.

And their lawns are so manicured they look like botanical gardens. Uncheck.

Anyone younger than them is either an idiot or hasn’t figured it out yet. Well, duh. Check.

They all golf better than me. This may pose a problem, since I can’t play better than myself, and unless some young buck shows up who has never played a round in his life, I’m in serious trouble.

And here’s the kicker. They all get up so early that it is almost inhuman. They say it is because they got used to getting up early in the military and they never kicked the habit.

That did not happen to me. I can’t get up early. I hate getting up early. If I have to get up at Navy reveille hours, my body doesn’t even function any more.

Tomorrow I have a 7am meeting. That means I get up at 0530…just like when I was in the Navy. I will grumble on the way to the meeting, and I will show up in a bad mood. I will be downright…curmudgeonly.

Well, how about that? I think I just took my first step toward codger.


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