How cold is it?


I got this from Frank, a Chicago veteran. (Chicago doesn’t have a monopoly on cold weather – I found similar comparisons from Cleveland, Minnesota, New England, Canada, Wisconsin, Maine, Vermont, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts on the internet.)

60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicagoans sunbathe.

50° F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicagoans plant gardens.

40° F: Italian & English cars won’t start. Chicagoans drive with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. Chicagoans throw on a flannel shirt.

15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicagoans have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0° F: All the people in Miami die. Chicagoans close the windows.

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Chicagoans get out their winter parkas.

40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. Chicagoans let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can’t start their cars.

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Chicagoans start saying, “cold ’nuff for ya?”

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Bears win the Super Bowl.


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