The Olympics and Bathtubs on the Beach


Well, the Olympic games are over for awhile, and I can start getting some work done again. Paperwork is stacked up to the rafters and my lawn looks like something out of the Tall Grass Prairie.

Pretty good stuff, those Olympics. I watched more TV this last week than I had in a year (not including football season). Saw a lot of ads too.

So what’s with the bathtubs on the beach?

Have you seen those awkward ED commercials? Not the one where the old guys start singing a mutation of Viva Las Vegas – that one would take a whole column in itself – but the one where the couple inevitably ends up in bathtubs, in public. They used to set up their tubs in a field, but apparently public nudity and trespassing statutes forced them to head for the ocean. The ad I saw had them soaking in tubs that were perched on an elevated wooden structure. At the beach.


Let’s break this down.

So the guy goes to a public beach and wants to erect a platform to put the tubs on. To do this, he would need a permit and I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he asks for one at City Hall. He buys a bunch of lumber and spends a couple of days dragging the wood down to the ocean along with tools, nails, etc. and builds the platform.

Then he has to lug the tubs down to the seashore and get them up on the structure, no small task if you’ve ever had to lift a porcelain bathtub (let alone two of them). And he’d have to do it alone, since to get help he would have to explain to his buddies WHY he’s building the platform (to test out the new pill, if you get my drift), and that’s a non-starter.

So let’s assume he builds the structure and manhandles two bathtubs up on top, alone. And there they sit, all ready for the romantic moment.

Where does he get the water?

This is why I don’t watch TV anymore (again, not including football season). The Olympics were great, but I’m glad they’re over and life can return to normal. Besides, my back is killing me from sitting too much in front of the boob tube. I need to soak my aching muscles in a nice, hot bath.

…Make that a shower.


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1 Comment

  1. Here here! (At least with regard to the Olympics being over). We never watched the commercials though. We watched everything on the DVR and fast forwarded through the commercials. I’m not sure how sitting in two separate bathtubs would be symbolic of getting it on with the help of Viagra though. Maybe if it was a two person bathtub, but separate individual bathtubs???

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