Cremation is contributing to Global Warming! (AFP)
And in a related story, British crematoriums are being forced to expand the size of their furnaces because the Brits are getting fatter. (AFP)
Please don’t stare at the chimps! (CNN/AP) Committed to giving you any monkey story I can find.
From an email I received (first hand report): On a visit to the barber, a Navy vet was surprised to get a beard trim and shoulder rub thrown in for free. “When I asked why she was doing all these extras, she told me, ‘Honey, a normal haircut takes about 20 minutes, but you do not have 20 minutes of hair'”.
Move over, Trunk Monkey! Dopers nabbed by stuffed monkey. (AP)
From News of the Weird: In January, a news crew for the Milwaukee station WDJT-TV, which was reporting a story on the danger of thin ice covering Big Muskego Lake, watched as their high-tech van’s driver mistakenly drove onto the lake and broke through the ice, ruining the expensive vehicle. [WISN-TV (Milwaukee), 1-28-07]
How to be the talk of the next family reunion: Oldest continuously operating family business closes…after 1400 years. (Business Week)
Say it ain’t so, Maximus! Researchers say Gladiators were vegetarians…and FAT! (Australian Broadcasting Company/AgenÃ§e France-Presse)
A joke sent to us by email: A military vet, working on his second career, was a good worker but always late. His boss finally called him in and asked him what the Marines would have said if he walked in late when he was still in uniform.
His answer: “Good morning, General.”