Coffee stories



Wow. A recent blog about Navy coffee struck a chord with quite a few people. Some of the stories that have appeared in or Facebook are really entertaining, so I thought I would compile some of the best. (I removed the names.)

When I started my 90 day mess cooking tour aboard the USS Schofield FFG-3, I started in the Chief’s Mess. I lasted about three weeks until the day I (a non-coffee drinker), decided to scrub clean the coffee maker, coffee pots and mugs, until they were all nice and shiny. The Senior Chief of the command came in, looked for his mug, started swearing. Asked who ruined #%*#$& coffee mess? I answered somewhat taken aback that it was me. He immediately fired me from mess cooking in the chiefs mess, and had me sent to the wardroom!

(As a follow-on to the previous note) I feel your pain. long ago when I was but a tadpole, I cranked in the CPO Mess and made the same error in judgment; took me 19 long years to join the Mess. Long retired, I still hide my favorite mug from anyone who might wash it!!!

One of the ladies at church who prepares the coffee and pastries every Sunday trusts me to judge the fitness of the brew. Though it lacks consistency of tar or mud, I will smile and say, “almost perfect morning coffee”!!

I recall someone washing the Chief’s cup (down [below]). We could hear him yelling up in Personnel. The worst was when someone super glued the cup to the desk. He walked by, grabbed it and kept going. Cup stayed there and he walked away with just the handle. I don’t think anyone had the guts to own to that one.

To add to the sensation of walking on to the mess decks at 4am and smelling the burning coffee – most Sailors & Marines would still fill their cup from said coffee pot and drink said burnt coffee. Why – because it’s Navy Coffee and as long as you can survive even the worst coffee in the Navy you can survive anything.

Oh, so true. The only I would add, at least about myself, is that one of my rituals when I return from a deployment is to then wash my cup, this the end of one phase of my life and onto another.

On my first ship I had a bad habit of leaving my USNA ceramic mug in the angle irons on the bridge. The [Quartermasters] warned me repeatedly that if I continued to leave it up there, they were going to toss it. One day I again left it there, then came back later in the day looking for it. The QM on watch was very helpful in locating my cup…he had marked the chart where they threw it over the side.

Somebody forgot to tell me that there was a salt water faucet in the deep sink outside CIC on the [USS WILLIAM V. PRATT]. Yep, I made one of those monster pots (30 ? 50 ? cup) pots using salt water. [The Chief] was not amused.


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