It has been too long


It has been a while since I have been to the gym. Blame it on a bad knee, blame it on an operation, blame it on laziness. Anyway, here is how you know if you have been away too long.

1. You need MAPQUEST to find it.
2. The front desk crew asks to see your ID.
3. You can’t remember what all the equipment is called.
4. “Level Two” on just about everything sounds about right.
5. Cooties on the handles bother you more than they used to.
6. You can’t find the adjustment levers on the thingamajig machine.
7. You develop an unhealthy hatred for the guy who declared 10 repetitions to be a set. Three is a good number.
8. Any goal can be satisfied by saying to yourself, “Close enough.”
9. You can’t figure out where to plug in your ear buds.
10. The scale in the gym is waaaay off.

Remember when you were young and fit and saw all those old people working out, and thought to yourself, “What are THEY doing here?”

Maybe I’m paranoid, but it seems like everyone is looking at ME.


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