3/4 of an animal and other statistics


In the world of weight loss, Black Friday begins on Thursday, and the storm clouds are already forming.

So far, I know that we will have two turkeys and a honey-glazed ham to eat, not to mention all the mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, cranberry sauce and assorted treats. Then there is dessert.

So what’s the big deal, you ask?

There will be a total of four adults there. Four. That translates into approximately 3/4 of an animal per person before we sink our teeth into the first pie. THAT’s the big deal.

I looked it up, and a serving of turkey about the size of a deck of cards is roughly 200 calories. I’m guessing there are a lot of decks of cards in a whole turkey…maybe 20 or so. 4000 calories, more or less. That means 3000 calories per person.


300 or so calories for potatoes and gravy.
212 per biscuit. PER biscuit!
200 for a half cup of cranberry sauce.
411 calories in a slice of apple pie.

You don’t have to be a math whiz to figure out I’m going to need a good work out later – either that or a good tailor.

There are two approaches to preparing for such a meal. Approach number 1 is to starve yourself for the next couple of days so that you are hungry when dinner arrives (or, in the weight loss way of thinking, your stomach shrinks so it takes less food to fill you up). Approach number 2 is to eat a lot for the next two days in order to expand the stomach to accommodate more food (or, if you prefer to lose weight, you can say that if you eat with a full stomach, you won’t be as hungry). So either method results in (a) eating more food, or (b) eating less food.

The polling data suggests that all things considered, I prefer number 2 by a landslide, which means I need to eat. So like a marathon runner prepares his (or her) schedule to peak on race day, I will begin prepping now to be ready to go on Thursday.

Starting today, I will eat with abandon. I will annihilate the food in front of me. I will eat more than I should, with more gusto than is socially acceptable. I will drip food on my clothes.

Because like all great athletes, you play like you practice. You fight like you train.

I may (a) eat more, or (b) eat less at Thanksgiving, but either way I’ll be ready.

For the record, though, I would put your money on (a).


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