In lieu of a national emergency

Oh, sure. Like you have NEVER used “official business” to get out of an obligation. (“Dinner at WHO’s house? Ummm, I can’t. I have watch.”)

Being in uniform allows you to use any reasonable sounding acronym to get out of whatever you need to get out of. (“Ooooh, you need help moving this weekend? Sorry, COMHAMSANDWICH GROUP TWO called me in. I KNOW! On the weekend – can you believe it? Right during the football playoffs too.”)

Declaring a national emergency is the ultimate trump card, as long as you don’t use it too often.

Now that I am a civilian cartoonist, however, coming up with excuses gets more difficult. The President, when confronted with a crisis, doesn’t exactly ask, “Where are the cartoonists?”

Lucky for me, I have discovered something that works every time. It is something cartoonists and writers use all the time to avoid unpleasant social obligations or (more importantly) get out of additional work.

I would like to go into more detail, but I’ll have to end it here.

I’m up against a deadline.