No need to go into details, but there is a better than even chance that I will be on TV pretty soon. This is great, except that I am not made for television.
I have had some experience with being on camera, and let’s just say it didn’t go well. I had been asked by the Naval Postgraduate School to do a commercial for them to be piped to every ship in the fleet. All I had to do was say, “Naval Postgraduate School. Good for me, good for you, good for the Navy.”
That’s it.
It took an hour to say those thirteen words. At first, the director thought I was too stiff. I was like a voice-over mannequin in uniform. He wanted me to “loosen up,” so he had me move my head around and try to act natural.
It didn’t work. I looked like I was going into convulsions, my immortal last words being, “Good for the Navy.” Eventually he had me rock forward on the words “me”, “you”, and “Navy.” After several aborted attempts (I looked like I was lunging at the camera), they finally got be to subtly lean forward on each word – for emphasis. They were satisfied with my last attempt (i.e. they were running low on film and patience), and put it in the can.
The commercial eventually aired, and Sailors all over the fleet saw a poor soul gently rocking back and forth as he chanted Ghandi-like, “Good for ME, good for YOU, good for the NAVY.” Entire crews must have stopped and stared at the screen, wondering what medical malady that poor fellow was suffering from.
So it with great anticipation that I await my next on-camera appearance. If nothing else, I need the experience.
It will be good for ME.
