If we all had callsigns



How come the aviators are the only guys with callsigns? If it weren’t cool enough to fly jets or helos or something, they also get to give themselves nicknames like “Iceman”, or “Maverick”, or “Eggs.”

…Scratch the last one. His last name is Benedict. I don’t think he gave himself that one.

I heard that the SEALs sometimes give themselves callsigns too, but they pretty much do whatever they want anyhow. Anyone who has a problem with that is inviting “a visit” from an unnamed paramilitary unit.

So I don’t have a problem with that.

But what about the rest of us?

What about Submariners? They should have callsigns too. Sinker. Hot rack. Nukey.

Surface Warriors should have more options than all being a part of the collective “Shoe.” They should have their own names. Owl (for the guy that never leaves the ship before the sun sets). Darth (the XO). Grease. Chipper. Bilge rat.

The oceanographers could use weather terms instead of all being called “Black Cloud.” Foggy. Snowman. Stormy. Cumulonimbus.

Maybe not Cumulonimbus.

The Information Professionals might struggle a bit, since office supplies don’t lend themselves to nicknames. “Folder”, for example, doesn’t do it for me. But they could probably fall back on computer terms like “Virus”, “Mouse”, or maybe “Crash”.

Wouldn’t that be great?

Well now that I’m retired, I feel no obligation to avoid giving myself a cool callsign, so all I have to do is come up with something that captures who I am now.

I wonder if “Old bald fat guy” is taken…


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  1. In the old Secgru, just about everyone on the watch floor had a nickname – I guess they were callsigns….

    And I notice that most aircrews in WW II had nicknames.

    In Rota back in the 60’s, we had Quagmire (Quigley) and Garbage Man, among others….

  2. I knew an Admiral in California whose call sign was ‘Booger’. When I asked him about it he would only remark that ‘it referred to an unfortunate incident which occured when I was an Ensign.’

  3. As for my callsign, I was always called “White Cloud” because of an unfortunate fog incident (I was a weather guy). I like Doodles better.

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