I got this from Frank, a Chicago veteran. (Chicago doesn’t have a monopoly on cold weather – I found similar comparisons from Cleveland, Minnesota, New England, Canada, Wisconsin, Maine, Vermont, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts on the internet.)
60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicagoans sunbathe.
50° F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicagoans plant gardens.
40° F: Italian & English cars won’t start. Chicagoans drive with the windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. Chicagoans throw on a flannel shirt.
15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicagoans have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Miami die. Chicagoans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Chicagoans get out their winter parkas.
40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. Chicagoans let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can’t start their cars.
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Chicagoans start saying, “cold ’nuff for ya?”
500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Bears win the Super Bowl.
