(National Archives)
“Do you want to have a catch?”
I bawled like a baby. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I struggled to hold back an audible sob. I slowly became aware of a presence beside me, and when I looked up, I saw her. It was the stewardess, glaring down at me with disdain.
She shared no empathy with me, because…well, she’s not a guy. Only certain movies can make guys tear up, and not long ago that topic came up over coffee with some buddies of mine. Wikipedia defines a “Guy Cry” movie as, “…the masculine version of the ‘chick flick.’ These films are directed towards the male demographic, but have strong emotional material.”
If you search the internet, there are lots of guy cry lists out there (Google has 340,000 entries on this topic), but none of them matches the choices of the coffee guys. I think that’s because most of the guys at the table are veterans, and a lot of the lists you see on the internet are written by … well, movie reporters. It’s safe to say that we view the world through different filters.
Our list inevitably involved sports, patriotism, the military or space travel (plus one dog). Most of them make great cruise flicks. So, from the Saturday morning coffee gang (plus a few of my own), here are our top 10 guy cry movies.
1. Field of Dreams (undisputed champ) – the “have a catch” scene
2. Rudy (undisputed runner up)
3. Saving Private Ryan (“Tell me I’m a good man.”)
4. Sands of Iwo Jima (when John Wayne gets killed)
5. Independence Day (President’s rallying speech)
6. Hoosiers
7. The Rookie
8. Remember the Titans
9. Old Yeller (lifetime achievement award)
Tied for tenth:
1. Braveheart
2. Gladiator
3. Glory
4. Armageddon
5. Seabiscuit
6. The Patriot
So there you have it. Not a love story in the bunch.
If you’re going to watch one of these, and you’re a guy, all I ask is that you try to maintain some dignity when you feel your throat tighten up. Be discreet when you wipe your eyes (allergies are a good excuse). If you can’t control yourself and think you might blubber like a baby, then please…do the rest of us a favor and watch it alone.
And if you’re on a plane, get a window seat.
