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  1. Immediately regretting his decision to wear clear contacts, Sergeant Walker wonders if he should speak up or keep stirring.

  2. Mess Specialist Morrisey realizes it’s time to hang up his apron when his oatmeal is chosen to play the eponymous lead in the base theatre’s production of “The Sword In The Stone.”

  3. To his great disappointment, Mess Specialist Bickford realized he would not be the next contestant on “Hell’s Kitchen”.

  4. The truth is – the USDA can’t put their seal of approval on it, the FDA can’t and will not approve an appropriate label for it, the Department of Defense can’t even identify it and the Quaker Company says it was distributed before you were born! So let’s just pray we all survive breakfast today so we can get out there and fight the bloody damn insurgents!

  5. Mess Specialist Jones and his new field applied blast resistant agent mixture. When properly applied to the underside of a Hummer, the agent will deter blast and help the troops escape injury. Until they get in the chow line.

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